Find Out What’s Your Love Language
Nothing says “you care” more than ______.
Knowing the answer to that is basically knowing what your love language is, the way or behaviors that you most immediately associate with affection.
And nope, this theory made popular by Dr. Gary Chapman is not just about romance. Whether you have a partner or is single, knowing your language of love, or that of your friend’s, colleague’s or family member’s is important in showing them that you care or appreciates them.
So what are they? The five love languages are – quality time, physical touch, acts of service, giving and receiving gifts, and words of affirmation.
Someone whose love language is quality time values undivided attention.
Being present both physically and mentally is important to you. You appreciate when the other party is attentive when you are talking with good eye contact and active listening. You feel adored when he/she make time out of busy work schedule to spend time together, does not check his/her phone at dinner, returns home early to spend a cosy evening with you when you are feeling down etc.
Someone whose love language is physical touch feels affectionate and connected by holding hands, kissing, hugging etc.
You feel close to someone emotionally by being close physically. A hug and cuddle after a bad day makes you forget about it all. An occasional touch of your back reminds you that you are loved. Kisses and/or hugs are important to you when you leave or return home.
ACTS OF SERVICE
Someone whose love language is acts of service probably live by the motto “action speak louder than words”.
You feel loved when your partner goes out of the way to do something for you or makes life easier for you. It doesn’t always have to be a grand gesture, little things count. Something small like making your coffee in the morning may be nothing to some, but everything to you. On days when you feel under the weather, you love it if he/ she cooks and brings you soup, volunteers to run an errand for you, or do the dishes etc.
GIVING & RECEIVING GIFTS
Someone whose love language is gifts recognize and value the gift-giving process.
It doesn’t have to be expensive gifts, it’s the thought of thinking of you when buying the gift, taking mental notes of what you like when shopping, or gifting something that has a symbolic meaning to your relationship. It can be something as simple as getting your favourite flavour of ice cream for you on their way home from work, or gifting a massager when he/she notices that you have been stressed and tired from working overtime etc.
WORDS OF AFFIRMATION
Someone whose love language is words of affirmation values the power of words.
Simple compliments and verbally expressing that he/she loves you has great impact on you. You feel good when your partner compliments your new hairstyle, tell you he/she is proud of you when you get a promotion at work, or he/she appreciates you when you helped them with a task etc. You prefer a card with a heartfelt message on your birthday. It makes your day receiving a surprise mid-day text at work to tell you he/she loves you.
If you want your loved one to feel the love that you are expressing, it is important to know their primary love language, vice versa, don’t be shy to communicate yours to them too.
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